I know I'm not a great writer, that was never why I put things on Deviantart. Maybe I'll never get any better at it, I don't exactly strive to or even put any time into writing anymore. Honestly, no, I don't put a whole lot of effort into writing poems, songs, stories, etc anyways, I never really did. Because it's not about anyone else, it never was. I couldn't care less about the amount of favorites, views, comments, etc I may get. I don't care if I ever get any attention regrading any of it, I never wrote for watchers, or for people to even like it. It's personal, so personal; dear to my heart. I read my writing and ONLY I know what/who I'm talking about. I've only ever wrote to vent, that's why it's always been so difficult to post it. Not necessarily on Deviantart, but Facebook, or even when it comes to sharing/sending something I wrote with/to the people in my life. I publish something and my family will be like "That's awesome! can I read it?" No. No you may not, do you know how many feelings are in that? Even though you don't know what happened, what inspired that, I do. I know what I'm telling you with those words. I know how it felt, how long it hurt, or how long ago those happy days were. So maybe I'm not talented, in any respect. I see these great artists on my newsfeed, drawings so amazing, and I can hardly draw a decent stick figure. Some of my friends can sing so amazing, I could listen to them all day, I can't get the courage to even try that. Writing is never about being the best to me, that's why I like it. I can't draw something that'll be worth liking or commenting on. I can't sing something so beautifully you'll listen to it in your car or ask me to sing to you. But I write. I am a writer, and I don't need your suggestions on how to improve because I don't care. (not to be harsh, it just doesn't matter if I ever improve) I just want someone to talk to sometimes and y'know what? Notebooks are my best for that sometimes. They'll always listen, never judge, never hurt me.
And if anyone who bothers reading this thinks I'm complaining, I am not. I'm not jealous of people who are talented, I think that's amazing. Talent is beautiful. I'm not upset because someone criticized me or anything, I'm not lonely right now, I'm not moping. It's not like that at all. I'm merely stating how I see things. A lot of people who will read this probably do not know me in real life, so just know I am not being depressed or something. I'm not going through a particularly difficult time you need to note me about or something. Sometimes I just do this, I talk a lot when people allow me to. Fortunately, Deviantart journals aren't as restricting as tweets. So now you have this lovely page of my thoughts.
Have a nice day, I know I haven't wrote on here in a long time, (not just in the journal section, but even poem wise) so hopefully this doesn't seem too out of the blue.
and I'm actually going to hit the submit button, sorry.
Watching: Doctor Who
Drinking: Diet pepsi